不算太黑的夜，心血来潮翻听旧曲，却被林忆莲一首《听说爱情回来过》唱得惆怅满怀，长长绵夜，心绪翻腾。“有一种想见不能见的伤痛，有一种爱还埋藏在我心中，而我只能把你放在我的心中……”，简单的字句，却道尽了想一个人的复杂心情，那刻意被搁浅的感觉，也趁着情绪涨潮的当下，偷偷溢满整个思绪。
忘了是谁说过，想一个人的心情是复杂而美丽的，或许就因为这个美丽理由，我一直放任自己贪图这份思念的遗憾。其实，很多时候，连自己都不明白了，为什么不敢相见，是怕见了面以后，就失去了这份收藏了很久的感觉，或更怕的是见了面以后，有太多收不回来的感觉，在有迹可寻的遗憾里，纠结住了太多谁都承载不起的情感。
真的就只因为这样的一份犹豫，两个人之间不算太远的距离，却用了半辈子的时光在进退两难间徘徊，有时想来真的觉得自己可笑得可以，或许更该对自己坦诚的是，自己根本没有太多勇气去面对见了面后的事实。不是没有想过的，那么深爱过的一个人，若干年后他带着幸福美满来相见，自己是否就能微笑送上最真诚的祝福，大方承认原来最终能给他幸福的那个人注定不是我，而心中不带任何一丝酸得发酵遗憾；反之那么思念的一个人，今天他带着满满的遗憾来相见，倾诉错过那份情感的点滴，曾经失落过的那份感觉是否就能得到一丝欣慰，曾经伤痛过的那道伤痕是否就能因此痊愈？
没有答案，因为懦弱得可以的勇气，没有让我做出任何去寻找答案的决定。或许就像密友常嘲笑我一样，我这辈子大概就能这样放任自己，抱着一份自怜得可悲的心情，继续躲在角落，偷偷的继续想念着那个人。对于这样的说法，我总一笑置之，或许，那样美丽而复杂的心情，会是点缀生活最美丽的魔法，因为想一个人了，而我更努力活得更精彩，因为想一个人了，我写出了充满感觉的文字，因为想一个人了，所以我决定让这份美丽的感觉，在记忆的蓝图上绘出最璀璨的星光。
Saturday, 14 November 2009
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Normal Day
Monday 16th March,
As usual, i woke up at 1.30 in the afternoon, although i set my alarm at 10.30, and let it snooze for 3 hours =,=" luckily su chin called me as i got a lecture at 2pm.. Too bad i cant sleep anymore, so bad for myself for not sleeping in such a good cool weather..
I was just reaching uni at 2pm, which force me to park in the stupid carpark and pay 2 bucks, arrghhh! Luckily we still made it for lecture in time, as there was promotion of calculators AGAIN! So STUPID! I'm just so dont understand why in the earth would such promotion in our lecture. Their marketing strategy is so bad, cant they think of what would students feel if they see these promotions while they wanted to listen to lecture. Moreover, everyone does have at least 1 calculator themselves which is sufficient. Would any student spend an extra rm 100+ to buy another one? Anyway the lecture starts in approximately 2.15pm and some of the students keep talking in the lecture as usual, so annoying =(
After the lecture, i went for MBFC (Monash Banking and Finance Club) AGM. Quite enjoy being a waiter to serve the others drinks there, while drank at least 10 cups of orange juice, haha! Anyway the air-con is a bit too cold, which made me stay outside the lecture theater and went toilet for 3 times =,=" After half an hour of delay, the lecturer finally came and gave some 'in-prompt to' speech, haizz... The whole AGM was going quite well, got respond from the members and the P and VP gave good speeches. However, there should be more crowd as we cant finish the orange juice xD
After the AGM, we (me, suchin and david) rushed out and joined the others (jimmy,hui ping, poh kim, wee lian and aiyeen) to SOULED OUT (not sold out) in Sri Hartamas. Luckily we searched the google map and printed it out, or else we gotna lost and ended up somewhere else =,=" We had a GREAT (as for the price =,=") dinner. We sharing each other foods like having barter trading >,< The restaurant is very nice for dinner after work or have some drinks, with nice songs, soft lighting and nice services, but i'll just consider about it after working for 10 years =S Then, as usual, birthday songs, birthday cakes, birthday presents, photos came in one by one. Something unique is that the restaurant's waiter sang birthday song, took a photo and printed out for us instantly, wowh! This is what customer services that we wanted =D
We finished the dinner at around 10.30, which is supper time for some people =,=" It took half an hour for me to reach home after dropping them. The first thing i did is on my lappie, then sleep zZzzzzZ..
Well, this is the end of a normal day.. for a normal person =)
As usual, i woke up at 1.30 in the afternoon, although i set my alarm at 10.30, and let it snooze for 3 hours =,=" luckily su chin called me as i got a lecture at 2pm.. Too bad i cant sleep anymore, so bad for myself for not sleeping in such a good cool weather..
I was just reaching uni at 2pm, which force me to park in the stupid carpark and pay 2 bucks, arrghhh! Luckily we still made it for lecture in time, as there was promotion of calculators AGAIN! So STUPID! I'm just so dont understand why in the earth would such promotion in our lecture. Their marketing strategy is so bad, cant they think of what would students feel if they see these promotions while they wanted to listen to lecture. Moreover, everyone does have at least 1 calculator themselves which is sufficient. Would any student spend an extra rm 100+ to buy another one? Anyway the lecture starts in approximately 2.15pm and some of the students keep talking in the lecture as usual, so annoying =(
After the lecture, i went for MBFC (Monash Banking and Finance Club) AGM. Quite enjoy being a waiter to serve the others drinks there, while drank at least 10 cups of orange juice, haha! Anyway the air-con is a bit too cold, which made me stay outside the lecture theater and went toilet for 3 times =,=" After half an hour of delay, the lecturer finally came and gave some 'in-prompt to' speech, haizz... The whole AGM was going quite well, got respond from the members and the P and VP gave good speeches. However, there should be more crowd as we cant finish the orange juice xD
After the AGM, we (me, suchin and david) rushed out and joined the others (jimmy,hui ping, poh kim, wee lian and aiyeen) to SOULED OUT (not sold out) in Sri Hartamas. Luckily we searched the google map and printed it out, or else we gotna lost and ended up somewhere else =,=" We had a GREAT (as for the price =,=") dinner. We sharing each other foods like having barter trading >,< The restaurant is very nice for dinner after work or have some drinks, with nice songs, soft lighting and nice services, but i'll just consider about it after working for 10 years =S Then, as usual, birthday songs, birthday cakes, birthday presents, photos came in one by one. Something unique is that the restaurant's waiter sang birthday song, took a photo and printed out for us instantly, wowh! This is what customer services that we wanted =D
We finished the dinner at around 10.30, which is supper time for some people =,=" It took half an hour for me to reach home after dropping them. The first thing i did is on my lappie, then sleep zZzzzzZ..
Well, this is the end of a normal day.. for a normal person =)
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Thoughts at Rotting time
Wowh, finally get a new post after 2 months!
Seems like my determination to update my blog is so fragile for past 2 months =,="
This post is to show that this poor blog is havent being abandoned by me yet, hehe!
After 10 months in Australia, there are many differences that I could sense once I've stepped down from the plane. Among those are friends and family. (im not promoting fnf for Digi >,< )
From this year onwards, it seems to be getting more difficult for our Heng Dai (CLHS) and Ji Mui (CDK) to gather around and celebrate events. Everyone got their own study life and may not be able chill out anytime and anywhere in penang like last time. Some of them in KL, some in butterworth and some in Singapore.
Despite of it, something glad is Adrian is back from Russia and we no need to see him one or two months once a year. Moreover everyone is still within Peninsula Malaya and able to meet each other once in a while. Although everyone do have their own group of friends in their college or university, we are still keep in touch with each other, and stick together whenever anyone is back in penang.
Anyway just hope that we can always keep in touch beside getting to know more lovely new friends in tertiary education. 一叶浮萍归大海, 人生何处不相逢 Looking forward to see old friends in PARTY 21 =)
Seems like my determination to update my blog is so fragile for past 2 months =,="
This post is to show that this poor blog is havent being abandoned by me yet, hehe!
After 10 months in Australia, there are many differences that I could sense once I've stepped down from the plane. Among those are friends and family. (im not promoting fnf for Digi >,< )
From this year onwards, it seems to be getting more difficult for our Heng Dai (CLHS) and Ji Mui (CDK) to gather around and celebrate events. Everyone got their own study life and may not be able chill out anytime and anywhere in penang like last time. Some of them in KL, some in butterworth and some in Singapore.
Despite of it, something glad is Adrian is back from Russia and we no need to see him one or two months once a year. Moreover everyone is still within Peninsula Malaya and able to meet each other once in a while. Although everyone do have their own group of friends in their college or university, we are still keep in touch with each other, and stick together whenever anyone is back in penang.
Anyway just hope that we can always keep in touch beside getting to know more lovely new friends in tertiary education. 一叶浮萍归大海, 人生何处不相逢 Looking forward to see old friends in PARTY 21 =)
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Holiday notice~
"Dui Bu Qi, Pai Sey, Doi Mm Ju, Maaf and SORRY" to everyone..
Seems like I've abandon this blog,
was even much busy after exams and lack to time =S
Btw Im gotna away from home for two weeks from tomorrow onwards
going to Goldcoast, then Sydney and lastly Cairns..
so this post is to inform you guys besides apologising for no new posts here=,="
I'll post new photos here when Im back!
Welcome and glad to see some newcomers are here as well as existing one =D
Good luck to those having mid-terms(wei liang), finals (jing ling), STPM (zhi ling)
and enjoy for those having holidays( zhi wei and me xP )
Seems like I've abandon this blog,
was even much busy after exams and lack to time =S
Btw Im gotna away from home for two weeks from tomorrow onwards
going to Goldcoast, then Sydney and lastly Cairns..
so this post is to inform you guys besides apologising for no new posts here=,="
I'll post new photos here when Im back!
Welcome and glad to see some newcomers are here as well as existing one =D
Good luck to those having mid-terms(wei liang), finals (jing ling), STPM (zhi ling)
and enjoy for those having holidays( zhi wei and me xP )
Thursday, 30 October 2008
Relax time~~
Wowh, finally the "rush hour" has passed!!
Now I have ONE more paper to go!!
-> "Treasury Management" on next Thursday 2.30pm - 5.30pm
That means I can "shake my leg" (goyang kaki, relax in Malay =] )
as there is plenty of time (one week) to prepare for it, YEAH!! =D
Yesterday night was AWFUL, as I only slept less than 5 hours (from 2 smth to 7am)...
As first quite confident with the subject,
but all the confidence had LOST after doing the past year questions
Those questions are so HARD and TRICKY!!!!
So I planned to sleep around 12 smth and wake up earlier to read through the lecture slides
Sadly after lying more than half an hour on the bed,
I was so NERVOUS as I was still looking at the ceiling =,="
Then I decided to study a bit to let myself fall asleep,
luckily it is useful!!
(so remember, readings especially textbook is an effective hypnosis way =p )
Woke up around 7.03am when su chin called me
(she thought I woke up much earlier =X )
Read, read and read until 8.45am
After 5 minutes breakfast (bread with jam)
here comes my record for bathing again
from pajamas to bath to jackets, jeans and shirts
all within 5 minutes =P
Rush, rush and rush until sitting in exam venue at 9.25am
after reading through the questions, "I put down the big rock in my heart"
(only means relief in Chinese xP )
The questions are much easier than past year and "do-able"
But soon I realise some confrontation,
my hand does not controlled fully by my mind =S
Why say so?
I wanted to write faster but seemed like my writing speed is under normal efficiency
most probably due to lack of sleep >,<"
So i kept telling my right hand to "Write faster! Write faster! Write faster!"
(of course just in mind and not saying out =,=" )
Luckily my hand followed the instruction =D
and so, I'm able to complete the paper and make some checkings
(figure out and correct one calculation errors at last minute, YEAH!! )
After the paper, we went around to decide for lunch
(spent for at least half an hour to decide =S )
Finally we went to a Japanese restaurant in Glenferrie
(famous for milkshake according to sui phing)
The foods are not bad but the restaurant is a bit old
I had "Prawn Tempura Udon" for the meal at $7.50
It was around 3 smth when we finished and on our way back...
The wind was so strong and started drizzling
Luckily it stopped after some moment =D
Finally, I reached home!!
the only two things that I do until now are sleep and online
sleep to recharge energy and online to relax (of course to blog too => )
Anyway just want to enjoy my day today and only start to study tomorrow
Good luck to everyone who having exams on tomorrow!!
(wee lian, sin ping - investment; zhi wei - english writing)
Now I have ONE more paper to go!!
-> "Treasury Management" on next Thursday 2.30pm - 5.30pm
That means I can "shake my leg" (goyang kaki, relax in Malay =] )
as there is plenty of time (one week) to prepare for it, YEAH!! =D
Yesterday night was AWFUL, as I only slept less than 5 hours (from 2 smth to 7am)...
As first quite confident with the subject,
but all the confidence had LOST after doing the past year questions
Those questions are so HARD and TRICKY!!!!
So I planned to sleep around 12 smth and wake up earlier to read through the lecture slides
Sadly after lying more than half an hour on the bed,
I was so NERVOUS as I was still looking at the ceiling =,="
Then I decided to study a bit to let myself fall asleep,
luckily it is useful!!
(so remember, readings especially textbook is an effective hypnosis way =p )
Woke up around 7.03am when su chin called me
(she thought I woke up much earlier =X )
Read, read and read until 8.45am
After 5 minutes breakfast (bread with jam)
here comes my record for bathing again
from pajamas to bath to jackets, jeans and shirts
all within 5 minutes =P
Rush, rush and rush until sitting in exam venue at 9.25am
after reading through the questions, "I put down the big rock in my heart"
(only means relief in Chinese xP )
The questions are much easier than past year and "do-able"
But soon I realise some confrontation,
my hand does not controlled fully by my mind =S
Why say so?
I wanted to write faster but seemed like my writing speed is under normal efficiency
most probably due to lack of sleep >,<"
So i kept telling my right hand to "Write faster! Write faster! Write faster!"
(of course just in mind and not saying out =,=" )
Luckily my hand followed the instruction =D
and so, I'm able to complete the paper and make some checkings
(figure out and correct one calculation errors at last minute, YEAH!! )
After the paper, we went around to decide for lunch
(spent for at least half an hour to decide =S )
Finally we went to a Japanese restaurant in Glenferrie
(famous for milkshake according to sui phing)
The foods are not bad but the restaurant is a bit old
I had "Prawn Tempura Udon" for the meal at $7.50
It was around 3 smth when we finished and on our way back...
The wind was so strong and started drizzling
Luckily it stopped after some moment =D
Finally, I reached home!!
the only two things that I do until now are sleep and online
sleep to recharge energy and online to relax (of course to blog too => )
Anyway just want to enjoy my day today and only start to study tomorrow
Good luck to everyone who having exams on tomorrow!!
(wee lian, sin ping - investment; zhi wei - english writing)
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Final Exams!!
Hmm, I guess most of us are having or going to have our FINAL EXAMS!!
Those in Monash, UM, NUS, UNSW, Melbourne U, Form 6 and etc etc etc.. (too many)
Except those in TAR College or Uni I suppose..
But I am more certain that we don't really have the mood to study..
(ya including you, still got time viewing my blog =D )
But it's Alright!!
as the owner of this blog (that's me) still floating around and blog again =,="
TWO papers on the following TWO days!!
-> "Macroeconomics" on Wednesday 2.30pm-4.30pm
-> "Performance Measurement and Control"on Thursday 9.30am-12.30pm)
Again, I need to take two papers within 24 hours =(
After deducting 11 hours to sleep and eat, 5 hours for exams,
only 8 HOURS left for me to exert my final efforts >,<
Anyway just hope i can answer and FINISH it within such a limited time..
( i can't finish on time during mid-sem test =S )
GOOD LUCK to everyone for the FINAL!!
(wish me luck too =P )
Those in Monash, UM, NUS, UNSW, Melbourne U, Form 6 and etc etc etc.. (too many)
Except those in TAR College or Uni I suppose..
But I am more certain that we don't really have the mood to study..
(ya including you, still got time viewing my blog =D )
But it's Alright!!
as the owner of this blog (that's me) still floating around and blog again =,="
TWO papers on the following TWO days!!
-> "Macroeconomics" on Wednesday 2.30pm-4.30pm
-> "Performance Measurement and Control"on Thursday 9.30am-12.30pm)
Again, I need to take two papers within 24 hours =(
After deducting 11 hours to sleep and eat, 5 hours for exams,
only 8 HOURS left for me to exert my final efforts >,<
Anyway just hope i can answer and FINISH it within such a limited time..
( i can't finish on time during mid-sem test =S )
GOOD LUCK to everyone for the FINAL!!
(wish me luck too =P )
Monday, 27 October 2008
Dang Dang Dang Dang!!
Here comes my Officially First Blog!~
Why officially first blog?
This is first officially "Open to Public" blog
Some previous blogs are being done for "chicken excretion hot"
(hangat-hangat tahi ayam - means without sustainable efforts in Malay=,=")
Some others just as temporary personal diary
(nobody except somebody saw it accidentally =p)
How come I suddenly create a new blog?
Even I'm right in the middle of Final exams =,="
The incentive is just simple,
seeing others so enjoy blogging so just "put one leg in"
(means be involved and share in Chinese =X )
especially like both zhi wei and jing ling blogs.
Another reason is i want to share my life with my buddies and everyone else, hehe!
Lastly is i hope i have something to refer to when i am old...
(sounds so pessimistic huh =S )
Okey, I think i should stick back to my lecture notes now
(actually is not mine, just borrow it from ai yeen =S )
Hope I am not Mr. 3 Minutes again!!
THANKS for dropping by! =O
Here comes my Officially First Blog!~
Why officially first blog?
This is first officially "Open to Public" blog
Some previous blogs are being done for "chicken excretion hot"
(hangat-hangat tahi ayam - means without sustainable efforts in Malay=,=")
Some others just as temporary personal diary
(nobody except somebody saw it accidentally =p)
How come I suddenly create a new blog?
Even I'm right in the middle of Final exams =,="
The incentive is just simple,
seeing others so enjoy blogging so just "put one leg in"
(means be involved and share in Chinese =X )
especially like both zhi wei and jing ling blogs.
Another reason is i want to share my life with my buddies and everyone else, hehe!
Lastly is i hope i have something to refer to when i am old...
(sounds so pessimistic huh =S )
Okey, I think i should stick back to my lecture notes now
(actually is not mine, just borrow it from ai yeen =S )
Hope I am not Mr. 3 Minutes again!!
THANKS for dropping by! =O
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